How to Master Your MINDSET - Top 5 Most Common Mindset Traps & How to Instantly Get Unstuck!

For years, even as a new coach, I knew that the inner perspectives someone held would greatly influence their ability to reach their goals, have positive interactions with others and enjoy life. Or not.

But it was only 2 years ago when I joined the online coaching communities that I discovered there was actually a term for all of that. Mindset.

And I also discovered that there were coaches out there that specialized in mindset!

So I realized that my actual specialty is around mindset. Sure I help others switch up their schedule to have more time and energy. Plus, I am an expert in leadership and business as well. But truly, the more I thought about it and coached more leaders across the globe, I saw that the inner mindset piece was the most POWERFUL part that could create MASSIVE TRANSFORMATION!

When the mindset piece was strong, the leadership, business and impact pieces could be changed up way more easily. But when it was struggling or stuck, the other areas suffered too!

 

What is mindset?

Mindset is how you think which includes the words you say to yourself and how you perceive the world, your internal beliefs and expectations for your life.

According to a dictionary definition, mindset is: the established set of attitudes held by someone.

Another definition is: a person's way of thinking and their opinions.


I like to think of mindset as the lens that someone perceives their experiences and possibilities.

You've probably seen the difference in a colleague or loved one when they're having a bad day or a good one. And you've also probably known people that seem like life always goes well for them while others always have "bad luck" or difficult times.

While some of this may come down to "luck," the majority of the difference is around how they choose to perceive a situation and react to it.

An example of this that I heard the other day was around someone waiting for their loved one at lunch. They were supposed to meet at noon, and by 12:30 their loved one still hadn't shown up. The person who was waiting was starting to get frustrated, feeling un-loved, dis-respected and annoyed. So when their lunch date turned up at 12:45, the person waiting was fuming!

Their date sits down with a massive grin, happy and excited. Immediately, they bubble up with the reason why they were late... they had just bought a new car so apologized for being late. But the best part?! It was a gift for the person who'd been waiting the whole time!

So immediately, that frustration shifted into excitement, relief and happiness at the thoughtfulness of the gift.

Today, in this article, I'll be sharing some mindset shifts you can make so that you are able to see the best in people (including yourself) and expect the best in your work, leadership, business and personal life!

I'll share some of my best tips to help you implement systems to help you master this area of your life!

 

What is mastery?

I believe mastery is when someone evolves through the learning phase into the artist phase of anything. Whether this is playing a musical instrument, leading a team, cooking a meal, managing finances, dancing or running an organization.

In any new skill, there is the learning phase. This is when we don't know how to do something so have to focus on learning the basics. Like learning the scales in music, figuring out how to read sheet music and holding the instrument. In this phase, we follow the leader or teacher since we have no idea what we're doing. While this can be a magical time of being open to learning and acting from a "beginner's mind" perspective, it can also be frustrating at times because we aren't able to do the things that we want to do, yet.

Then eventually, the learning phase evolves into being able to do more complicated versions of the skill. Like being able to play a simple song which gradually evolves into playing more complicated pieces.

At some point, as you continue learning, you're able to try out new activities on your own. This is when you've integrated the skill to a level where you're able to take the skill and try it out in new ways. Like trying to play through the entirety of new song through without any previous practice.

Then eventually, you reach the point of mastery. This is where you may compose your own pieces of music, or play something like a free-style jazz solo or you're able to inject so much emotion into your playing that you bring your audience to tears.

This level of mastery is when you have evolved from the learning and implementing into being an artist where you inject your own personality, perspective, skill and style into whatever it is that you're doing.

At this level, you inspire others. You create, flow and enjoy the journey.

Not that we don't enjoy the learning journey to mastery, but it is mastery where we truly shine!

Whether this is in leadership, business, personal skills or any activity, you can achieve your own levels of mastery. In this Mastery Series, I'll be sharing some of my best tips to help you THRIVE and SHINE by mastering your mindset, personal life and leadership.

 

Top mindset traps/challenges

But first, before we get into the tips and tools to boost your mindset to a level of mastery, let's talk about some of the areas where our mindset can get stuck. Whether it's challenges around confidence, a lack of empowerment, an addiction to busyness or being held back by perfection and expectations, or something else altogether, we can shift out of it!

These are the top 5 most common challenges I find in my clients, colleagues, friends & loved ones. Sure there may be others but we'll start with these today.

  1. Lack of Empowerment
  2. Busyness
  3. Perfectionism
  4. Expectations
  5. Boundaries/Delegation
  6. Confidence

Over my 7 years as a business & leadership coach, I've seen these 5 issues come up again and again. Both in myself and others.

I believe they can evolve and change, grow and shift as we grow, evolve and change. Which is why a regular mindset practice can help you navigate changes, challenges and new levels of growth, expansion, career, leadership & business success. As well as personal development, lifestyle stages and interests.

Zig Ziglar says it best, “People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing, that's why we recommend it daily.”

So in dealing with these top 5 common leadership mindset challenges, we can best deal with them by establishing daily and regular mindset habits or routines, just like bathing, exercise and eating!

I'll share my key tips for setting up regular mindset routines in a moment when I discuss what tools can help with mindset mastery... but first, I'd like to touch a bit more on key shifts, which themselves are also a tool in a way.

 

How to create an INSTANT MINDSET SWITCH

So when looking at a mindset shift, there are multiple different ways of looking at things. Often just re-framing a situation to see it from a different perspective can INSTANTLY unlock someone who's stuck with a challenging situation. (that is the magic of coaching and mindset <3)

Using the top 5 mindset traps I mentioned above, let's chat about the key shifts I've seen that can help to instantly break someone out of the trap and back into their empowered, confident, thriving selves!

Lack of Empowerment:

Often this can come after someone has made a mistake in some way in their work or are dealing with a difficult situation at home. This can also come if we don't own our accountability as a leader or undermine someone in our lives by not empowering them to figure things out on their own. When someone feels like they don't have power in the situation or don't believe in their abilities, this can keep them stuck.

The RE-FRAME/SWITCH: Instantly switch out of the lack of empowerment trap by looking at where you DO have influence on the situation.

Even if it feels like it was someone else's fault, by looking at where you could do something different, you instantly empower yourself or others by owning the role you/they play.

Busyness:

Often this comes from a deep feeling of obligation and can often be tied into perfectionism... as a compensation for low confidence. Or avoidance of something in their lives. I've known many high-achievers who are also self-identified work-aholics partially because they love accomplishing their goals, overcoming challenges and ongoing achievement, but the darker side of this can sometimes be an avoidance of stress, anxiety or dealing with something in their professional or personal lives.


The RE-FRAME/SWITCH: Instantly switch out of the busy-ness trap by tuning into the energy of the activities. Is it from passion, excitement, joy and ease? Or is it coming from a source of anxiety, fear, striving and a feeling of not being enough?

Both are okay, but when it becomes a trap or an issue that is getting in the way of your overall well-being, health and relationships... then switching back to a empowered state of ease, passion and excitement will help to bring you back to thriving!

Perfectionism:

Just as with busy-ness and dis-empowerment, perfectionism can come from a feeling of not being enough or fear of rejection for any type of failure. This can be picked up from childhood or could even be inadvertently created in the workplace culture, depending on how leadership responds to mistakes.

As leaders, it is helpful to be aware of what tone you set for your team or business, not only for yourself but for the whole organization.

The RE-FRAME/SWITCH: Instantly switch out of the perfectionism trap by peeling back a couple of layers to see what is motivating the perfectionism? Are you avoiding doing a task or putting yourself out there in some way due to fear or rejection? Or do you get stuck in continuous corrections and never get to done? Are you holding yourself back in some way? 

Then, just allow yourself to do something imperfectly. Know when it is required to have a high level of polish and when it isn't necessary. Save the A+ effort for when it's required and allow yourself to just put yourself out there and learn along the way. 

 

For additional support on making these INSTANT MINDSET SHIFTS, I'd love to invite you to have a 1:1 coaching session where we can dive into your exact mindset situation and precisely what you need to switch it up!

Sign up here for a 2 hour Intensive Coaching Session! 

 

What tools will help develop mindset mastery?

So we've discussed some of the instant mindset switches and re-frames that you can do yourself to get yourself or the people you lead out of these common mindset traps but I find the best way to achieve mindset mastery is through regular mindset practices.

While the top way to master your mindset is through working with a coach or mentor who can help you see areas that may be holding you back, which I highly recommend!

Along with that, I also encourage a regular mindset practice.

My own mindset practice has changed and evolved over the years but revolves around daily mindset routines, plus weekly and monthly, quarterly and annual activities.

Just like Zig Ziglar said in his quote, just like bathing, mindset work is best done daily!

So a daily mindset routine is key to keeping your mindset strong, clean and fresh!

Creating a morning mindset routine will set you up to have a powerful and empowered mindset each day. Imagine the difference starting your day feeling inspired, uplifted, clear, connected, grounded and energized!

What kind of a difference would that make for the rest of your day? Your productivity? Your relationships? Your confidence? How empowered you feel? How you deal with busy-ness, perfectionism and boundaries?

This is a KEY SUCCESS HABIT for leaders, entrepreneurs and honestly, all humans everywhere!

 

Get The FREE Empowered Leader Planning Kit! 

To help you set up your daily, weekly and bigger-picture routines, you can download the Empowered Leader Planning Kit which includes examples of my daily mindset activities and weekly reviews.

These help you keep your mindset strong, focused and supported regularly! 

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